


What's Real or Fantasy

by Signel_chan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Biology, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Character Death, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Grubs, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Troll Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 15:08:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signel_chan/pseuds/Signel_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humans have one and only one kind of romance--so when they learn that the trolls have multiple, they have to see them in action. And thus, locking the twelve trolls from SGRUB happens, with the intent of seeing matespritships, moirallegiances, and kismesissitudes form. And form they do, among other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Real or Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Copied from my tumblr post of this story:  
> " Don’t read this if you don’t like dead baby stories. There’s some implied stuff that’s not very nice at all. There’s some strange troll biology headcanons. The whole thing is a quadrant behavior headcanon. Oh, and have I mentioned that there’s dead babies?  
> "Oh, also. Parts of this are depressing, others are intense (personally, I cried at the end, and felt a bit disturbed at the part dubbed “Ventstuck”). While there isn’t enough to dub this as nsfw (unless erotic asphyxiation/breathplay that isn’t even described counts in your mind), it’s definitely not something you should read where you could get in trouble."  
> Basically, that's all you need to know before reading this. Have fun!

For some reason, the human culture was fixated on seeing the different kinds of troll romance—not because they liked them, but because one involved beating the life out of each other in a hate-love situation. That was the reason behind the twelve trolls being locked in the building together, two to a room, set in a way such that the three two-troll quadrants could be filled fairly easily and all for the human viewing pleasure. The trolls were told this was a game, something that they were to play in order to get to live among humans, and they obliged, if only because they had nowhere else to go.

It began one day in the spring, all of them being locked up, their only way out being when someone either died or the ratings for the broadcasts were too low to allow it to continue. And right away, there was trouble. It was the very moment that Eridan saw who he was stuck with that was that trouble moment, because he knew that he had a very high chance of being the one killed to get everyone out. “What's wrong, Eridan? You look like you've seen something frightening.” Kanaya spoke softly and kindly, but her words were laced with contempt. They knew what had transpired between them in their last game, and there were still many hard feelings that were unresolved.

“Nothin', nothin', just lookin' at your pretty face,” he replied under his breath, hoping that his attempt at flattering her would keep him alive at least a bit longer. “Is there a problem with that?”

“Not at all, except I'm sure you'll be tired of this pretty face soon enough. Let's explore our new environment a bit, shall we?” She reached for his hand, and he warily gave it to her, still concerned that he was going to die at any moment. “You're so tense. Eridan, lighten up. Everything will be fine, unless you worry.”

He sighed, gripping her hand tightly. “Everythin', huh? Promise you won't kill me?”

“Been there, done that. We aren't leaving this 'game' by me killing you, anyway. I would feel terrible to have your blood on my hands once more.” They entered a room, one with a giant bed in the center and a recuperacoon in the corner. “Oh, what did they say about the sleeping arrangements? We have to sleep together?”

“Fuck, really? I'm sorry, Kan, but I don't feel like sleepin' with you will do me any good. I'll just worry more about you killin' me.”

“I said not to worry, and I swear I won't kill you. But we've got to sleep together or else we'll be punished. Somehow. I'm not exactly sure how that would work.” Kanaya sighed, shaking her head at the problem they faced. “However, I'm not one for breaking rules, so let's find a way to work this sleeping thing out. We'll only be able to use the recuperacoon if we sleep tangled together, and I don't want to do that, so human bed it is.”

Eridan's jaw dropped a little, while his fins perked up. “No can do, Kan. I have to sleep in the recuperacoon, or else I'll be a whiny guy.”

“You say that like you're not already whiny. But I don't think we're ready for that kind of intimacy, so we should sleep on the bed. At least for a little bit. Once we're more comfortable and less on edge with each other, maybe we'll move. Now come on, there's more to explore.” She led him out of the room, and together they examined the rest of the place they were to call home. There were no computers, nothing to use to contact the outside world, but resting on a shelf in the main room was a bag filled with sewing supplies, and there was another bag, that one full of knitting materials, under the sink in the kitchen area.

“It looks like they were expectin' us in this place. Sucks that there isn't a way to talk to the others, but whatever. We can make some snazzy scarves and clothes while we're here.” His purple eyes were lit up at the excitement, but Kanaya kept her calm demeanor, even if she added a smile at the news. “What, you don't like that stuff anymore?”

“No, I do, but we should be careful with how much of it we do at once. We don't want to run out of things to do in the future, do we?” He realized that she was right, and promised to stay away from the stuff except for once a week, when they could just sit and unwind and make something to pass the time.

As for the rest of that day, they spent it reconnecting and getting over the past. It hurt to be talking face-to-face with the troll who had killed them, but by talking they managed to move through it. And when the power in the building was shut off, they climbed into the human bed together, sleeping on opposite sides, but listening to the whining and crying of some of the other trolls as they drifted off.

That was the first and only night that everyone got along.

Starting bright and early the next morning, the forged relationships in the rooms began to strain, but none more than the shaky one between Kanaya and Eridan. Being true to his word, he woke up angry at everything but nothing more in particular than the jadeblood he was sharing a room with. This was made clear when he threw the nearest object to him, a clock, at her head to wake her up.

“What was that for?” she asked, rubbing at the spot on her forehead when the clock made contact. “Did I bite you in my sleep?”

“No, you made me fuckin' sleep in this piece a shit, that's what.” Even though he was completely nude, he got up in front of her, not caring that both she and viewers could see parts of him that he shouldn't have been showing off. “Tonight, we sleep in the 'coon. Simple as that.”

She shook her head, before getting out of the bed as well. “No, not simple as that. You just threw a clock at my head. I get to pick where we sleep, and I'm not getting intimate with you, especially since you sleep like you do.” Her eyes, whether she meant for them to or not, were fixated on his naked body, and she was mentally critiquing how he looked. “I can't be caught sleeping with you.”

“Well that's a damn shame, because it's happenin'. We are sleepin' together tonight, or else it will be somethin' harder than a clock that wakes you up tomorrow.” He stormed out of the room then, leaving her a bit dazed and very confused at his behavior. Chalking it up to a combo of not having slept in his normal sopor vat and being stuck in a place that wasn't home, she readied herself for a new day of boring adventures, and soon joined him in the main area of their living quarters.

The first thing she noticed was the stomping around directly above them. From the few screams she heard the night before, she knew that Karkat was in that room, but with who, she wasn't sure. Right next to them was Terezi, because whenever Karkat would scream, Terezi would whine in response. As for everyone else, it was a guessing game as to where they were...and Kanaya wished she was anywhere but in the room with Eridan. She honestly would have rather been stuck with Gamzee than him, because she knew Gamzee would at least be a bit more compliant with the sleeping arrangements.

The second thing she noticed was that Eridan was starting to calm down from his outburst already, having found himself sitting on one of the couches with some fabric in his hands. He wasn't doing anything with the fabric (which was a marvelous green in color) aside from rubbing it between his fingers—until he put it in his mouth and tore it with his teeth. “'s what I'm gonna do to you,” he hissed at her, before throwing the cloth to the floor.

“Hey, that could have been made into something, you jerk.” She bent down to pick up what was left of the fabric, and no sooner than her fingers had wrapped around it did she feel something touching her backside. Something forceful, and something she didn't approve of.

It seemed that, in order to calm himself down, Eridan had taken to smacking her ass. Kanaya bit down on her lip to keep herself from saying anything about it, but she wondered if anyone else was having similar problems with their roommate.

That question was answered that night, lying in the bed against Eridan's wishes (he had to be punished for the contact somehow). The screams from across the hall, coupled with the sounds of smacking flesh, made for the only night where only one group was having some sort of interaction.

Days passed, and tensions grew more and more. At night, the rooms around them filled with activity, be it Karkat's screaming, Terezi's whining, or the multitude of whipping noises from across the hall. But whenever the sun was up, and they were living life like they didn't want to, it was a struggle to not just kill who they were in the room with. And Kanaya had it worst of all, being stuck with Eridan, whose desire to sleep in the recuperacoon grew by the minute.

“I'm done with this bed thing, Kan,” he growled while sprawled out on the couch, “so tonight we are sleepin' where I wanna, or I will get us kicked out.”

“Get us kicked out then, because I refuse to sleep in that with you.” Her eyes were heavy from having so many nights of improper sleep, but Kanaya was insistent on using that bed. “Besides, I'm sure whatever punishment the humans would have for us would be better than being stuck in this place with you any longer.”

“I'm takin' that as a threat.” Eridan pulled himself up and swung a ring-laden fist at Kanaya, which she dodged. “What, you scared of a little fight?”

Much like the humans would when they were angry, Kanaya responded by giving Eridan an eyeroll. “Not scared, but I have no interest whatsoever in getting physically involved with you, because that would mean the people would be watching us for more fights.”

“That would be great, though. More fights, meanin' we'll get more out of this when it's over! Come on, Kan, we could be filthy rich in human currency when we're out of here! Let's just play up a kismesissitude for the cameras, just until we're set free from this trap. That's what I've been tryin' to do, but you keep stoppin' me.” He looked at her with wide, almost begging, eyes. “And before you ask, all this violent stuff I've been doin'? All for the cameras.”

“You're a natural actor then, Eridan, but I'd rather not even fake being in a black relationship with you, mostly because of the possibility that it could become real, but partly because I don't want to be trapped in a lie like that.” Sitting down where Eridan had been sprawled moments before, Kanaya leaned her head back and sighed. “However, with all that human currency, I could buy as much fabric as I want...”

He flopped down beside her and wrapped an arm over her shoulders, digging his nails into her skin. “Now you're thinkin'! So, what do you say? Fake this kismesis until we're free?”

Another sigh escaped Kanaya's lips before she nodded. “Only until we're free, though. Once we're out of here, we go back to never interacting with each other.”

“Couldn't have said that better myself.” He dug his nails a bit deeper, drawing jade blood from Kanaya's arm. “Noww let's do things my wway tonight. We're sleepin' in the 'coon, and that's that. Unless, a course, you wanna fight me about it.”

She made no arguments against him, because he really was a convincing actor, and his behavior seemed more real than faked. That night was the first of many they shared in the recuperacoon, but only one of the few that involved them fully clothed.

* * *

 

It was a few weeks after the call for a faked kismesissitude, and, while they were both still alive, they were beginning to border on a full-fledged ordeal. Bruises and bite marks covered them both, with still-bleeding cuts in several places. But such was a normal thing for something so fake, and they tried their best to shrug it off. After all, in their minds, they were the only ones who were doing this. That's what the sounds in the rooms around them made it seem like, anyway. Karkat still screamed every night, Terezi still whined for him, and there were still those moans and screams from across the hall.

Then, one night, that last set of noises, while at its climax, with someone yelling to stop, to not do anymore, and the other troll sounding like they were in a state of intense pleasure, disappeared. The moans were gone. The screams hushed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, half-dressed (as it had started to feel nice to have the sopor of the recuperacoon against her bare, damaged skin) and waiting for her partner, Kanaya wondered what, exactly, had happened to them.

She got her answer in the form of a loudspeaker voice. “Attention trolls,” it said, “it seems that two of your kind have been involved in some risky behavior, unfit for human viewing. While it seems that trolls can last longer in an erotic asphyxiation situation than humans can, the lack of a safe word that was listened to made their behavior extremely dangerous not only to themselves, but to the viewers of this program. Instead of shutting down everything, we have taken action by removing those two trolls from the game. From now on, only ten of you are locked in this building. Good night.” And with that, the power shut off and they were expected to go to sleep.

“I wonder who it was that got the boot,” Eridan asked, walking into the room wearing absolutely nothing. Kanaya, although she attempted to avert her gaze, found herself admiring the male troll's nude body, from head to toe. “If that 'erotic asphyxiation' thin' has anythin' to do with chokin' someone for pleasure, Eq's gotta be one of the two.”

“Makes sense, but who would be stupid enough to play those breathing games with him?” Kanaya paused for a moment, looked up into Eridan's eyes, and they both answered the question at the same time, Kanaya saying “Duh, Vriska,” while Eridan said it his own way with “Oh, Vris.”

They laughed at their dual answer, but the laugh was cut short when Eridan slapped Kanaya straight across the face. “How dare you laugh at me, bitch,” he hissed, before slapping her again. “I didn't say you could laugh, so shut your fuckin' mouth before I rip it off a you.”

“Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to insult you.” She wasn't really sorry, but Kanaya knew that if she didn't apologize, Eridan might actually make good on his threat. In fact, to her, it seemed that he was going a bit beyond the acting they had agreed on, which wasn't okay. “Hey, Eridan?” she asked, getting up and grabbing him into a tight hug, her arms brushing against his pincer remnants on his sides, which made him squirm. “What are we even doing? Are you actually hating me? Or is this just more really fantastic acting?”

“I'm not sure. Now let go a me before I bite you—“ Flipping her hair to the side, she exposed a neck covered with bite marks and green bruises. “—oh I didn't realize I'd been bitin' you there so much. It's kinda a habit now, you know?”

She pulled one of her arms back, and moved it to where she was stroking one of his horns with her hand. “A habit that either needs to be broken, or you need to admit you're waxing black for me so you can continue this. You have gone way beyond acting, I hope you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” he meekly admitted, before looking her straight in her brilliant eyes and adding, “but it's not my fault I hate you as much as I do.” Before she could even react, he spun and threw her to the floor, dragged down with her as she was holding him, but not before a loud cracking noise filled the room. Once they were on the floor, he screamed in apparent pain, as Kanaya glanced at what she was now holding detached from his body: half of one of his horns.

That was the first night they got into a legitimate blackrom fight, and it was that night that more viewers tuned in than any other night, simply because of the two “fashion-obsessed freaks getting really kinky on their bedroom floor.” The third, and more important, thing about that night was that it was the humans' first real taste of black interactions, and it was certainly not the last.

Viewership tapered off after that, back down to its normal levels, and the masterminds behind the entire thing decided that, after five months of holding the trolls in almost solitary captivity, they could see their friends for maybe a day, so that the show could take a break and come back with as much interest as ever before. Aside from the two that had been removed, it was assumed that the remaining trolls would all gather somewhere and talk, but that was not the case, as they learned when there were two others who were missing from the group.

“So okay, if Vriska really was the one who got kicked out with Equius, that would explain why she's not here, right?” Tavros asked with a somewhat saddened sigh, his eyes constantly looking out on everyone and his fingers impatiently tapping his arms. Everyone who heard him said they agreed, and he continued. “Oh. Great. But anyway, that would explain why they're gone. Why aren't, uh, Aradia and Kanaya here then?”

The eight trolls that were gathered fell silent, looking amongst themselves as to who would even be paired with those two. Eridan, his broken horn hastily taped back together, stood slightly secluded against the wall, and he hoped that no one would so much as question who he was with, because he knew why she wasn't there. He just didn't want to explain it. “Okay, fine, I'll spill.” Clearing his throat to make himself heard by everyone there, Sollux stood on a chair, therefore making him the tallest thing in the room, and said, “I've been stuck with AA for this. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's silly, why put us together? The answer there, my loyal douchebags, is so that there's one functional matespritship in this whole thing, that being us.” His lisp made everyone take a second to comprehend what he had said, but once they did, cheers rang through the group. “Thank you, thank you.”

“That doesn't explain why she's not here, though. Did you kill her?”

Sollux laughed at Tavros' question, before jumping down from his chair. “No, I didn't. She's fine. She just couldn't come out here, since she doesn't have anything to wear.”

“How does she not have anything to wear? Did you two destroy everything or something?” Karkat, who had been distracted by Terezi (being back together with her was the greatest thing in his world at that moment), gave his pal a raised-eyebrows kind of look. “Or is that just a stupid excuse that you just fucking came up with?”

“It's legit, KK. You see, when two trolls are matesprits, things happen, and what happened this time was that AA got a taste of my,” he gestured down towards his crotch, “stingers.” The group erupted in laughter, until they realized that Sollux was most likely telling the truth. “So she can't come down because she's dealing with stuff related to that. There, better?”

“No way!” Nepeta squealed, flailing her arms and hitting Gamzee in the process, since they were sitting in the corner together. “That's so purr-fect! I always knew you two were going to be together! Can I go see her?”

He shrugged. “No idea. She might not like it if you go up there and look at her right now. She wanted to get some sleep. I don't know what it's like to be living with those things crawling around inside of you, but according to her it's a miserable existence. So really,” he said, watching the cat troll starting to slink towards the staircase upstairs, “I'd stay away from her if I were you.”

“Things?” Karkat made sure to emphasize the end s, and Sollux nodded in response. “What the fuck is wrong with you? This is a human experiment, not time to be breeding!”

“We're lowbloods, KK, it's kind of what we do. Not to mention the fact that we're in a red relationship. It would be weird if there wasn't a few of the little things. AA and I are not highbloods by any sense of the word, and we aren't beating each other because we have feelings. I'd say things are going well.” It was then that Eridan pulled himself up off of the wall and began to walk back to his room, which everyone (aside from Terezi, as she was blind and didn't care) watched. “Hey, fishdick, where are you going? Can't you be happy for me, just this once?”

“I'm goin' back to my room. Isn't that what it looks like to you?” He spun on his toes, just to look at Sollux and give him a spiteful middle finger. “In case you didn't already notice, Kan's my room partner, and she's not here. I'm gonna go check on her, make sure she's okay, that kind of thin'. Because, unlike you, I'm not in a fuckin' red relationship. I'm givin' the human people what they want. Go black or go home.”

“Of course you find yourself black for someone. I bet Kanaya wants none of it, and that's why she's not here. She wants away from you and your asshole nature.” There was more to what Sollux said, but Eridan was too busy running back to his room to care. He knew it was lies, but he wanted to make sure, just to know for fact that he had Kanaya as a kismesis and that those other trolls just didn't understand.

He found Kanaya exactly where he had left her, lying on their bed with her face buried in one of the many pillows, emitting the occasional cry. “Hey, Kan, what's wrong?” he asked her, sitting down next to her and patting her back a bit. “Is everythin' still hurting? Is that it?”

“No, no it's fine now,” she replied, her voice muffled a bit by the pillow. “How is everyone else? Are they doing well?”

“I'd say they are. No one was killin' anyone else, so that's good.” He started hitting her a bit harder, but not hard enough to make her yelp in pain. “I guess Ara and Sol have somethin' goin' on between them, somethin' red. It's great for them, I guess, but man did I not wanna hear about how they're all red and happy and...fuck, I just wanted to punch him. But I didn't. Savin' the punches for my darlin' Kan.”

She rolled over just enough to be able to look at him. “Thanks, Eridan. Anything else happen?”

“I wasn't done about Sol yet. He got on a chair and told us all that him and Ara are havin' grubs. Like, really? Did we need to know that? But he's a self-centered asshole and everyone pretended to care even though I know none of 'em did. Except maybe Kar. Maybe he cared.”

“And did you say anything in respo—“

“But like, Sol was bein' this huge dick about it, sayin' that they're gonna have a lot because of bein' lowbloods and bein' matesprits and I was like, wow, you don't know that, calm the fuck down. But he didn't care and I got shunned back to the room.” This time, instead of more hitting, he flicked her, causing her to wince a bit. “I can't believe he did that. So immature of him. How's he gonna say somethin' like that when I'm around, huh?”

Finally having had enough of his rambling, Kanaya interjected with, “Eridan, tell me, did you even bother telling him what we've got going on between us?”

“That we're in a kismesissitude? I tried. Really, I did. He thought I was makin' it up, and that it's unrequited and all that shit. But it's not. It's a real thin' and I could prove it to him if you weren't feelin' so terrible!”

“March back out there right now and tell him what's going on. If you don't, I will beat you so hard you'll be begging me for mercy.” She buried her face in the pillows again, leaving Eridan to sigh, get up, and go back out into the area where everyone else was.

His return sparked laughter from everyone, no one more than Sollux, who climbed back onto his chair to announce: “Hey, everyone, look. It's mister 'I can't get any from anyone, not even myself!' He decided to come back and make an even bigger fool of himself!” The laughter grew louder, and it took most of Eridan's self-control to keep from lashing out. Instead, he calmly told Sollux to get down, because he had something to say to everyone. “Oh? What's this? You're going to tell us how Kanaya laughed at you the first time you tried anything with her, right?”

“No, I'm gonna tell you the truth, which is way better than these fuckin' lies you're comin' up with.” Sollux snorted but climbed off of the chair, allowing Eridan to get on it. “Okay. Well. Kan said I should tell you all this so you know, but I don't see why I should. You're all undeserving pricks, but whatever. Kan, even though I hate her, she knows best. And if she says I should tell you all that she really is my kismesis and,” he swallowed hard, not out of nerves but out of knowing that laughter was right around the corner, “she's not out here because she wants to be away from me. She's not out here because she's in a lot of pain.”

“What, did you stab her with a needle or something? Oh, so scary.” Sollux began to shake the chair that Eridan stood on, causing the seadweller to jump off of it. “What's your point with all of this? Trying to make yourself look better?”

“If you had let me finish, you'd know what my point was.” Grabbing the broken part of his horn and ripping it off, Eridan chose to throw the broken piece at Sollux instead of any physical contact. “Kan broke that off the first night of our kismesissitude, when I threw her to the floor. That was so long ago now that it doesn't even hurt for it to be gone. But that's not important. What's important is what follows. You see, I, Eridan Ampora, have gotten just as far with Kan as Sol has gotten with Ara, even though Kan's my kismesis and Ara's apparently Sol's matesprit.”

The area fell silent, aside from an unrelated chuckle from Gamzee in the corner. “Wow, you're brave, lying about this kind of stuff. Why don't we just take a trip to visit Kanaya, then, to see if he's telling the truth?”

“Because if Kan wanted visitors, she'd be out here!” Not meaning to raise his voice, Eridan began to yell at everyone, starting with “I don't know why you all can't fuckin' believe me here! I'm not sayin' I killed her. I'm not saying we're gonna be anythin' once we leave this place. I'm just sayin' that, for right now, me and her are in a kismesissitude and we are happy with it and we are just as legit of a relationship as Sol and Ara and yet everyone celebrates them and their fuckin' grubs but I mention me and Kan bein' just like that and no one even cares!”

Much like when Sollux had originally shared his news with everyone, Nepeta was the first to give a comment that was positive. “I never thought that you and Kanaya would be anything! This is so exciting, Eridan! I need to go add this to my wall!” She jumped up and literally dashed away, and soon her footsteps were heard on the floor above.

“I still think you're lying. How convenient that you've got something similar to me going on. I'm leaving FF alone now.” Sollux gave a wave at the other seadwelling troll, who excitedly waved back. “I'm minding my own business. And yet here you are, trying to overshadow me. Can you please stop trying to be as cool as I am? Please?”

Before Eridan got the chance to tell Sollux off for that, someone else did. “He's not overshadowing anyone. He's sharing his, excuse me, our, news with all of you, and if you've got a problem with it, take it up with me, not him.” Whimpering with every step she took, Kanaya joined the group, eventually wrapping her arm around Eridan and digging her fingers into his side. “I'm the one who knows what's happening to myself, so if I told him that we are to be expecting at least one grub in the near future, then you should fucking believe him.”

“You don't look like AA does,” Sollux said after giving Kanaya a once-over with his eyes. “And before you start spouting that 'mother grub' shit, I don't care. I don't believe you, though.”

“Well that's your choice. However, it would be wise to believe me, just like I believe you. There is nothing in my mind to make me believe that you're lying about the situation that has befallen you and Aradia. In fact, I am absolutely thrilled that two lowblooded trolls have begun the process of reproduction. I don't think you're up for the task, however.” She smiled at him, a smile that had every intention of infuriating him. “From what I was taught growing up, such a blood combination could produce as many as ten grubs, and that is without factoring in the fact that this is a matesprit pair. I hope you enjoy never being alone again, because you may have just created a ticking time bomb of upwards of twenty living, breathing grubs for you to raise.”

Instead of just backing away from the sticky situation he was getting into, Sollux chose to attack back. “Well, what I learned was that highbloods have very few grubs to begin with, and even then they very rarely are alive. And since you got yourself fucked by someone with such high blood, I wouldn't even bother with caring about your future grub or grubs, because they'll all be dead before you meet them.”

“And you know what? I'm okay with that. Now I'm going to go back to laying down, and Eridan is coming with me. Consider this stupid fight over.” Flipping him off before she went, the duo made their way back to their room, slamming the door when they entered.

“Uh, Sollux?” Karkat asked, approaching his visibly angry friend. “You gonna be okay?”

“I'm gonna prove that bitch wrong,” he seethed in response, before storming out and up the stairs, just to come back down moments later, in a much more relaxed mood. “Or maybe not. AA says I'm not allowed to continue with this. She says that all grubs are gifts, be it one dead one or twenty living ones, and we should be happy for any and everyone who's being blessed with them.”

A few moments of thinking later, and Terezi chimed in with, “Can I room with Karkat, then? I'd like to be blessed or whatever with these things. Sounds like a whole lot of fun.” And everyone who had grown accustomed to the whining and screaming coming from the rooms that Karkat and Terezi were in almost agreed, but, knowing the rules of the game, had to deny the request.

* * *

 

Crashes were what defined one night in particular—they came from one of the upstairs rooms, and even though they woke Eridan up from his sleep, he was pretty sure he knew what they were from the second he heard them. Once the yelling started to accompany the sound of things being thrown and broken, he was positive he knew where they were from. He wasn't going to be getting any more sleep that night, that was for sure, and neither was anyone else in the building, except for Kanaya, anyway.

She was sitting on his lap, like she did every night, her head nuzzled up against his, and even though they were in a relationship fueled by hate, they were still tenderly romantic when they slept. The way her body was pressed up against his was something he didn't exactly like, but if there hadn't been much room in the recuperacoon before, there definitely was none at this point. His arms were touching both the inner wall of the 'coon and the swollen portion of Kanaya's abdomen, which was very uncomfortable, especially in a situation like this particular one, where he was awake and she would be sleeping until the lights were on.

“Come on, Kan, let me move your fat ass off of me just this one time,” he muttered, knowing she wouldn't hear it. “I'd rather be off makin' you somethin' than bein' your personal cushion.” That was when something rustled in the room, something completely unrelated to the ruckus that was occurring upstairs. “What was that?”

A loud purr filled the room, followed by a strong smell that Eridan instantly related to humans and their recreational drugs. “Yeah, I like this room way better, sis. Much nicer than ours. Less messy.” It took a second for Eridan to recognize the voice, but when he did, he had to stifle his gasp by sticking his mouth in Kanaya's hair. That was Gamzee speaking. But why was he in their room?

“Climbing through the vents to get here sure was a great idea! This way, we can get them kicked out for the use of this stuff, and we'll still be free!” The vents? Eridan had to quickly think about why both Nepeta and Gamzee would be in the vents, until he remembered that they both had played in the vents in their previous adventure. What made this one any different?

“Get out of my room,” he said, his voice barely loud enough to be picked up by either of them. The only reason he knew he had been heard was because one of the two approached the recuperacoon, eventually looking down into it. And that was when Eridan realized that he wasn't just dealing with two trolls; he was dealing with two trolls who were high out of their minds. “Oh, it's you. Never mind. You can stay.”

Gamzee shook his head as he looked down on them. “No, bro. You don't make the motherfucking rules here. That's my job. And I say you can get the motherfuck out of here.” Grabbing onto the non-broken horn, he began to pull Eridan up from where he sat, grunting as he did so because he had to pull him out from underneath Kanaya. “Her too, but we're gonna play with you first. I think purple would be nice to paint the walls with, don't you, sis?”

“Oh yes, I think it would be the best color ever. Much better than the paints they gave us.” Nepeta joined the party once Gamzee had completely extracted Eridan and thrown him on the bed. “Where should we get the color from? I think the throat would be best.”

“Excellent idea, my dear. You grab the knife. I'm going to make our brother here say his last words while you do that.” With a demonic grin on his face, Gamzee put his hand right under Eridan's jaw and pressed down. “Well? Any words you'd like to say before we kill you?”

His life was flashing before his eyes, and yet all Eridan could find the power to say was “I'm not the one who's interested in breathplay.” His eyelids felt heavy then, most likely from the way Gamzee was restricting his airflow, and even though he tried to fight it, he drifted off into a deep slumber. When he woke back up, he fully expected to be either mutilated and in pain, or in some sort of afterlife. He wasn't prepared for the lights to be on, for the screams and crashes upstairs to be continuing, and the loudspeaker to be concluding some message about leaving rooms without permission to be against the rules. “Where am I?” he croaked out, due to his throat not working the way it should. Even though no one was touching it, it still felt like he was having it pressed down on.

He didn't get a response the first time he asked, nor did he get one the second or third time. He sat up, looking around the bedroom for any sign of anyone. There wasn't one to be found. He slid off the bed, the world around him spinning slightly as he wasn't fully awake yet, and walked out into the other part of the room. That's where he found Kanaya, sitting without her shirt on, knitting materials in her hands. “Oh, there you are. I thought somethin' happened to you.”

“What would have possibly happened to me? They had enough sense to only mess with you, for which I applaud them. They did a number to you, but it makes up for the lack of violence I've been showering you with lately.” She returned to her knitting, and he sat next to her, before moving his body in such a way so that he could comfortably rest his head on her stomach. “Are you trying to see if its alive in there?”

“Since I just nearly died, yeah, it would be nice for it to be. Why, do you think there's somethin' wrong with it?”

Sighing, she set down her knitting and looked at him. “Of course there's something wrong with it. But, for now, it's alive. Who knows how long that good fortune will last. I'm fairly certain it'll be soon that it dies, but I don't want to get excited about it.” With one of her fingernails, she scratched Eridan's cheek a bit. “Speaking of grubs and their living or dying, I've been keeping count of how many Sollux has killed upstairs.”

“How do you know how many they've got, huh? Did he come down here and tell you?” Even though it hurt to do so, Eridan chuckled. “Or did you gather the information from him screamin' about it?”

“Second one. Right after I woke up, so right after the humans in charge forced the lights on, he was up there whining about 'how the fuck are we thuppothed to raithe thixteen little fuckers' and I honestly laughed because I warned him, didn't I?” She sighed again, before adding, “He's managed to kill three already, two of which he did because he got mad and started shooting his psionics. The third one, I think he threw it.”

“If ours is alive when it comes out, I'm gonna throw it at someone.” Eridan slammed his head down a bit into Kanaya, making her scratch his face more. “And if it survives that, then I'm keepin' it for my own.”

She shook her head. “No, I'm keeping it for my own if it survives. It needs to learn to be a respectable troll, and I'm afraid you'd be unable to give it that kind of education. And since I'd rather not ever see you again after this game is over, only one of us gets it, and that will be me.”

“I've got the higher blood, I get to raise the damn grub.” Eridan sat up, but not before slamming his head down even harder. “There, problem solved. It's mine.”

“No, it's mine. I am the one who was raised to raise others, after all. And the higher blood argument is senseless. Sollux is the one with higher blood in his and Aradia's relationship, and I'm positive she'd never let him be alone with their grubs. Now, if you'll excuse me,” she said, standing up, “I'm going to go sit in the bedroom alone for a while. Don't come bother me, no matter what.”

He raised his eyebrows at her behavior. “You feelin' tired or somethin'? Want me to beat you up a bit?”

“Tired is an accurate word for what I'm feeling, yes. But please just respect my wishes this once and leave me alone. When I'm ready for your contact again I'll tell you, but until then, you are forbidden from sleeping with me, okay?”

“But the rules say—“

The look on Kanaya's face after he said that could only be described as venomous. “I asked the humans who are in charge. They will allow us to bend the rules for this. Now have fun sleeping alone after so long of sleeping with me.” After she blew him a kiss, followed with a dirty look, she was gone back into the bedroom, leaving Eridan there to pick up her knitting and mindlessly work on her project, listening to the screams from upstairs for anything he could pick out.

He didn't speak to her again for three days. Not because he didn't want to, but because she was off in her own world that entire time. Whenever he entered the bedroom, she was sitting in the recuperacoon, her eyes glazed over, looking like she was on the edge of death. He wasn't even sure if she had eaten anything over those days, unless it was while he was asleep. Watching her in this state wasn't fun at all, because he knew it spelled some kind of trouble, but there was nothing he was going to do. Even if their relationship was based on hate, he had no business going against her wishes, and she wished for him to not talk to her until she said he could.

Once there was a reason for him to not follow that rule, though, he made sure to break it. That time came right after he woke up on what would have been the fourth day, and, when checking on her to make sure she was still alive, he found something he honestly wished he never would have seen. It was a grub, its body transparent due to it being so new and young, laying face-down in the sopor. He screamed at the sight, waking Kanaya up from her dream state. When she too saw the grub she also screamed, getting as far away from it as fast as she could. “Do I even need to ask? Is it dead? Is that why it's layin' like that?”

“Yes, yes it's dead! A living grub wouldn't be laying still like that, and it sure as fuck wouldn't be see-through still! I just went through three days of being in there, for that?” Visibly shaken from the rude awakening, Kanaya gathered the strength to pick the little creature out of the slime, cradling it in her arms as she would if it was living. “Little thing's kind of cute, for being something we made because we can't stand each other.”

He leaned in close to get a good look at the grub, which, upon inspection, seemed to have inherited all of its facial features from him, down to the beginnings of the little ear fins. “Yeah, kind of cute. That's what we're gonna call it.”

“I'd say it's adorable, except it's dead and it would be a seadweller if it was alive, and I can't bring myself to call any seadwellers adorable.”

“Are you sayin' that I'm not adorable?” She enthusiastically nodded, which made him just a tiny bit angry. “I'm a fuckin' gorgeous troll, and you can't deny that. Now put that dead thin' down, we've got things to take care of, those being it's finally okay for me to be rough with you again.”

She laughed, and set the grub down in a box that was sitting on the floor (when it had gotten there, Eridan wasn't sure, but he guessed Kanaya had known this was going to happen and had prepared for it). “Let me get some clothes on, and you've got yourself a deal, Ampora.” And their lives locked in that room started over, going back to the carefree attacking and hate-lovemaking that had defined the beginning of their kismesissitude.

* * *

 

The game ended in the summer, over a year after it began. The people were as interested in it then as they had been when it started, but due to circumstance, it had to be ended. There were two ways that it could be shut down, those being either when someone either died or the ratings for the broadcasts were too low to allow it to continue; since the ratings were still high, it had to have been the first option. Her death had been an accident, everyone who saw it claimed, and even the responsible troll said that it wasn't his fault, he didn't mean to fall and impale her. But a death of one of the participating trolls was still a death, and so the game and the corresponding show had to end.

Stepping out into the actual sunlight for the first time in over a year, the seven remaining trolls were greeted first by the four of them that had been kicked out, then by the press and media who wanted to be the first to interview the trolls who had provided entertainment and education for so long. Per the rules that were given over the loudspeaker prior to release, the eleven trolls would have a few minutes to catch up before the media got to them, and they were to use those few minutes to their advantage.

The first four to be taken out of the building were sitting on its outer steps, waiting for someone, anyone, to come outside. They were first graced with Feferi's presence, and hers alone. “It's great to see you guys,” she said in a rather dejected manner, earning her many questions from the others. “As I'm sure you guys watched, Karcrab and I began to form a very strong moirallegiance, but now...I'm not sure how I can help him...”

“Just let him deal with it on his own. If you become an overbearing moirail in this situation, he will tire of you and wish for you to leave. That is what happened when Nepeta learned of my, ahem, distress when it came to the Sollux and Aradia relationship that transpired.” Equius looked over at Nepeta, but she was having none of his contact. “Speaking of that relationship, how are you handling it?”

Feferi froze for a second, before sighing. “I don't know, to be honest. I just want to pretend like it didn't happen, really.”

As the two of them continued to converse, more trolls began to leave the building. First came Tavros, who was promptly thrown to the ground and beat up for what he had done, before being kissed passionately like there was nothing wrong with what he had done, all by Vriska, who, according to the other three trolls she had been with for the time, had done nothing but talk about him and how much she wanted him. They were quite literally about to strip down and get in each other's pants on the sidewalk, but Karkat came outside, with anger in his eyes aimed solely at the large-horned troll. Before he got the chance to do anything, he was tackled by Feferi, who told him that revenge wasn't the answer, forgiveness was.

Of course, she couldn't hold herself to that policy and required Karkat's assistance when it came to seeing Sollux and Aradia come outside, each holding both each other and two grubs, with an additional one chewing on Aradia's hair on the top of her head. The sight also caused Equius to become flustered and have to turn away from them, requiring Nepeta to give up on being mad at him and help her old moirail out. “So, where's old fishdick?” Sollux asked the group, although there was no one who could be bothered to answer him, aside from Gamzee, who just shrugged and got into a staring contest with the grub on Aradia's head.

Finally, the last two trolls came out of the building, but not together like the previous pair had been. Kanaya came first, clutching the box that held the dead grub close to her chest, and she was followed moments later by Eridan, who looked happy to be done with everything the building had put him through. He chose to sit alone, far away from everyone else, while Kanaya attempted to talk to all of her friends and catch up on how they were doing and everything, having forgiven every bad thing that had happened during the game.

Then the minutes of freedom ran out and the media attacked, questioning everyone about everything, from the workings of the relationships, to what came next in their lives, even to how they were going to move on from what they were forced through. Whenever Kanaya was approached about her dead grub in particular, she would cling to the box a bit tighter, while Eridan, when faced with the same topic, would just tell everyone to fuck off, to leave him alone about something that personal.

Once the media left and they were free once more, he planned on leaving, on going somewhere far away where no one would bother mention the troll quadrants again to him. He was simply a shell of what he used to be: where he used to have two fine horns he had one fine one and a shattered one, a mark that would always remind him of the ordeal; where he once had flawless skin he now had scars and bite marks and memories of the best kismesis he could have ever asked for. Before he got to leave, he made the mistake of going over to thank Kanaya for everything.

“Here,” she said, handing him the box, “I remember you said you wanted the grub, so have it.” That gesture, being given the thing that would forever tie them together, brought tears to his eyes, and to thank her for that, he pulled her close into a hug, one that was only broken when she pulled away from him, having heard the voice of someone human, someone that she cared about more than she ever could have cared about him.

He remembered the first conversation he had with her during the game, where she said that everything would be fine, unless he worried. Well he wasn't worrying, and he was absolutely positive that nothing would ever be fine again. Not unless she was there with him.

But that wasn't possible, and so Eridan took the box and went on his way.


End file.
